I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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