maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I love you. Go after that dick
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize