I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
