SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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