i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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