all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize