My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
ttyl tear gas
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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