we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
