We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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