Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
