Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
