oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
