Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
