I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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