I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I looked at my own cervix.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
