That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
