you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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