Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Randomize
