i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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