please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I am spending my child support on dildos
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Randomize
