You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
