Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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