Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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