he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Randomize
