careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
