Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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