Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
