Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize