I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
