the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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