I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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