Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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