yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
