I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
