Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
