Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
It was like giving head to a cactus.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
