i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize