i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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