The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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