But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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