Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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