we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
