why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Mom said you looked used
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
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