weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
