YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize