She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Don't make out with my wife yet
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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