whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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