Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
