I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
