Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
