please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
