BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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