Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
