is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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