he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
