I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
