where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
