overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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