I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
