The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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