***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
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