My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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