I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize