Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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