he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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